Saturday Night: August 2,2014

Ok, well Saturday night around 10-11 before I went to sleep I was called on FaceTime. I was laughing and stuff but I hung up ’cause I was tired and my body was hurting. Then I texted a few people and played my music. Next thing I know,

I had all these thoughts flooding my vision and my head was thumping and I couldn’t take it; thoughts of people lying to me, feeling lonely, being fucked over, me trying to find myself, etc. so I started cuddling with my dog Rosie to try to calm myself, but it just made it worse and I just couldn’t stop crying. It was like my heart was being torn into so many pieces and my brain was splitting out of my skull and my body was so cold and empty and I just felt so alone. So I went downstairs to mommy and just cried and cried and cried into her arms I just couldn’t stop crying because more memories came; her holding me when I was little just so I can fall asleep. Her telling me she loves me and how bad I treat her but no matter what she’s always there. So I tried to go to sleep but I couldn’t so I went back to my room held Rosie as close as I could and fell asleep

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