Just another Boy’s “toy”…

Being rejected in so many different ways takes it’s tole-especially when it’s a boy you really like.
You start to wonder am I really ugly?..
Is it the bumps on my face?..
Am I really that skinny?..

Are my legs too long?..
Is it because my hips don’t saunter in my skirt when I walk?
Or ideation taking it’s tole and making me want to be this perfect work of art.

I fail to realize nothing real is perfect and if it’s perfect then it’s not real.

I like this one guy a lot. And
my mom told me, “to get ride of your crush on someone, find another crush”.
How, if this one electrifies me greatly? With his mysterious ways- his muted voice and when he looks at you..
Oh! it’s like he grabs your soul with his eyes-and look at you, knocking the breath out of your throat. He’s tall and have a nice cut.

He’s also a plain douche. Like a puppet master he moves me around the stage with intentions that I’m a seasonable dancer, and as soon as something takes his attention away for a split second,
*snap*
he drops me flat on the stage floor leaving me with the audience’s eyes of pity boring into me.
Is it my turn to play now? Or am
I the toy?..

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